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New Moon Habit- Heart Opening

5/28/2014

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I’ve been working on Heart Opening during the past 2 weeks, leading up to today’s New Moon, under the assumption that I would be releasing blocks and barriers. I’m not sure that is the way of it, though!

Over these past weeks, I’ve had some interactions with others that have made me think about this, and about my Heart Protector meridian that my acupuncturist has worked on.

These interactions were potentially angry, upsetting, or deeply frustrating situations that I seem to have handled very differently than usual, surprising myself a little afterwards. In each of them, I was able to very clearly say, “No.”

  • No, I won’t argue with you.
  • No, I didn’t say any of those things. Here is what I did say…
  • No, that is not acceptable. I asked for…
  • No, please don’t sit down. I am very busy. (This was directed at my neighbor, who seems to think me working on my computer at my backyard table is an invitation to join me and tell me all his aches and complaints.)

It’s not that I’m averse to saying No- I’ve actually had more practice at it than the average bear, I think. What was different was an underlying belief that I was perfectly within my rights to assert myself. I had no guilt, no shame, no discomfort, no defensiveness. My attitude was, This is what I need/want/require/expect, and that’s it. It felt good, and empowering, and easy.

In the past, even the very recent past, these situations would have left me very unsettled and uncomfortable, wracked with unease or annoyance and replaying the conversation in my head over and over. These disquieting emotions are ones that I have aggressively avoided for the past several years. It takes a lot of energy to have them and deal with them! So I had slammed the gates of my emotional center closed against these types of interactions altogether.

Now, in addition to “opening” my heart and allowing caring, genuine people back into my life, it seems that I am also being called on to develop that Heart Protector rather than just encounter it. Heart Opening seems to involve well-oiled and re-fortified gates, and it will take some practice to open and close them as needed, appropriately, not according to fear.

I’m going to keep working on this through this next moon phase, as we approach the June Full Moon and the Summer Solstice. I still have Rose/Tahini herb balls in my fridge, there’s a rosebush in front of my apartment budding out, and I have my next acupuncture appointment tomorrow. It’s going to be quite a summer!

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    Fun Fact: I'm an herbalist and a movement coach. Not a doctor, or a pharmacist, and not pretending to be one on TV.

    This is a public space, so my writing reflects my experiences and I try to stay general enough so it might relate to you. This does not constitute medical advice, and I encourage you to  discuss concerns with your doctor. Remember, however, that the final say in your wellness decisions are always yours- you have the power to choose, you are the boss of you.

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This website is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical, mental health or healthcare advice.  The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical condition or mental or emotional condition.  Working with us is not a guarantee of any results.  Paula Billig owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.  
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